Organizing Chaos - 4.16.03

Well. Sent an email out to the frequent readers. Seeing what people want for a name. Everyone will vote for the name they suggested, so there will be no majority. Besides Buck Futter's inflammatory connotation (I've undoubtedly butchered the english language in the last few words) makes a good meme. The other names just don't hold up under memorability. But we shall see what we can see.

In other news. I need a girlfriend (ideal) and money. And some reasons to stay in college. I'm just not enjoying myself here. And just to get a piece of paper seems both a waste of money and lacks as one of the forces that helps lift me out of bed, put my clothes on, and trudge to the classes. Need something like, "I really love this whole learning thing we're doing here. I'm learning something that I have a passion for." When people say you shouldn't study a thing just because its useful, they tend to strike me as a little insane. Of course, if they derive pleasure from it, then it's okay, but then why is it a requirement for many jobs? Smart-aleck answer: Because you've proved you can drudge and will percevere though the assignment we give you, though it is boring and stimulates you little. How else would you get people with highly developed skill sets that would be necessarily obedient for jobs they don't want to do.

When I study economics I see the world in all its complexity (Most likely why I've studied it so far). Counter forces, both macro and micro. I see networks and feedback effects. But I still can't see that as a reason to pay thirty three thousand dollars just to learn it, let alone ten, or five. Maybe if I were going to be an economist, but I'm going to be a business maker/runner. I look everywhere else and I don't see anything that makes me say: I want to be here the next two years spending most of my day studying this. History, bleh. They're dead. Marketing. Runs a little thin. Anthropology. Good for one class, not for ten. Mandarin. Intriguing, hadn't thought of that, but still probably more of an excuse to fight for that piece of paper, than linked to some passion or lifting-out-of-bed-for-class reason. Engineering. Whoa. Been out of the game on that one for a while. Useful. Lot of work if I were going to try again.

Wow. Hate the whole blogginess of these notes. Retarded that it feels good publicly displaying inner feelings. That's what I do a lot anyway, and since people think others are like them, they don't realize I would put my feelings out there quickly. But what else would make me dashing and charismatic? Even then, I like listening to others more than myself.

I apologize for any stuff that doesn't make sense.

--Adrian